1 00:00:00,752 --> 00:00:02,422 Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 2 00:00:02,589 --> 00:00:06,055 I wanna look in the mirror and make sure I'm still dead in the eyes. 3 00:00:06,222 --> 00:00:08,726 You think you can handle my section? 4 00:00:08,893 --> 00:00:12,150 Uh, yeah, I think I can handle it. Heh. 5 00:00:12,359 --> 00:00:15,573 Earl, I don't know if you noticed. I'm running the diner right now. 6 00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:17,661 What, what. 7 00:00:18,663 --> 00:00:21,000 The customer at table 10 appears to be choking. 8 00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:24,466 I would help, but the last time i gave a white woman the heimlich... 9 00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:27,222 i did six months in the Birmingham city jail. 10 00:00:27,973 --> 00:00:29,393 Oh, my god. Are you choking? 11 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,647 Oh, my god. I feel like you're choking. 12 00:00:32,691 --> 00:00:34,236 Is anyone here a doctor? 13 00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:38,995 What am I saying? I forgot where I am. Has anyone here ever seen scrubs? 14 00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:41,208 What do you do when a girl is choking? 15 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,923 I just back up a few inches. 16 00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:49,474 What do we do? What do we do? This woman is choking. 17 00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:51,186 [Choking] 18 00:00:55,361 --> 00:00:56,488 [Sighs] 19 00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:59,161 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 20 00:00:59,328 --> 00:01:02,709 And feel free to tip me what you think your life's worth. 21 00:01:03,878 --> 00:01:06,842 I feel 3 bucks coming my way. 22 00:01:18,574 --> 00:01:20,620 Here you go, guys. I'm the only waitress. 23 00:01:20,787 --> 00:01:25,003 Sorry you waited longer for the burger than for that cosby sweater to come back. 24 00:01:27,926 --> 00:01:30,807 Max, look at my face. I'm very upset. 25 00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,769 Max: Oh. 26 00:01:32,936 --> 00:01:36,235 Is that what that means? I just assumed you were constipated. 27 00:01:37,654 --> 00:01:39,073 Caroline is late again. 28 00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:42,372 She better not use your new cupcake shop as an excuse this time. 29 00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:45,920 Because, sister, that crap ain't gonna fly. 30 00:01:46,087 --> 00:01:49,177 First of all, stop talking like you're in a Tyler Perry movie... 31 00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:53,352 and secondly, Caroline is here. She is in the kitchen. 32 00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:55,315 Han: Really? Because when I was in there... 33 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:59,323 you told me she was out here. You're playing me, fool. 34 00:01:59,531 --> 00:02:01,869 Stop talking like you're in a Tyler Perry sequel. 35 00:02:02,036 --> 00:02:04,374 - And secondly... - I'll ask Earl. Earl! 36 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,422 Ow! 37 00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:09,968 What happened? Why did you scream? 38 00:02:10,178 --> 00:02:14,101 I accidentally sat on one of my boys. 39 00:02:14,770 --> 00:02:16,273 Have you seen Caroline tonight? 40 00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:20,030 Of course, man. I just saw her go down the hall to the ladies' room. 41 00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:24,456 There. Happy? You've solved the big mystery, shortlock Holmes. 42 00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:28,339 Wait, she didn't pick up any of her... 43 00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,303 Caroline? 44 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:32,847 Can't talk now, han. 45 00:02:33,014 --> 00:02:36,438 How many times do I have to ask you to fix this damn pie carousel? 46 00:02:36,605 --> 00:02:39,151 The temp isn't cool enough. Those tapiocas are gonna turn. 47 00:02:39,319 --> 00:02:42,992 If you want a lawsuit, keep ignoring me. Max, can I see you in the kitchen... 48 00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:47,210 where I was a couple of minutes ago after I got out of the ladies' room? 49 00:02:47,794 --> 00:02:49,548 Yeah, get on that temperature thing. 50 00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:53,723 There's so much mold growing in there, that cherry pie is gonna need a pap smear. 51 00:02:56,353 --> 00:03:00,068 That was some ballsy, bold, in-your-face awesome lying. 52 00:03:00,236 --> 00:03:04,369 I learned it by watching you, dad. Had to lie. 53 00:03:04,578 --> 00:03:08,419 We need every minute we can steal away from here to get the cupcake shop ready. 54 00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:12,469 We still have to do the second coat of paint, figure out tables and chairs. 55 00:03:12,635 --> 00:03:14,556 What? Didn't have time for lunch. 56 00:03:15,182 --> 00:03:18,981 I don't care. I'm surprised you're using a spoon. I just stick my face in it. 57 00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:25,870 So my brilliant idea of how we get this all done is, we should get an intern to help. 58 00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:29,628 What? No. I can't be a person that has an intern. 59 00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:32,884 I can barely be a person that doesn't have an intern. 60 00:03:33,051 --> 00:03:35,431 Max, all businesses use interns. 61 00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:38,144 We just have to post an ad online at nyu or Columbia. 62 00:03:38,312 --> 00:03:41,652 We'll have 20 applicants battling it out to do grunt work for credit. 63 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:45,576 You make it sound like the hunger games: College edition. 64 00:03:47,288 --> 00:03:49,751 Sorry, I'm against getting people to work for free. 65 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:55,178 I'm with you, Max. My people were interns for 436 years. 66 00:03:57,015 --> 00:04:00,021 I am just getting used to the idea of having my own business. 67 00:04:00,188 --> 00:04:02,861 Now you want me to be someone's boss? I am not the boss. 68 00:04:03,027 --> 00:04:06,368 I'm the person who talks behind the boss's back. 69 00:04:06,577 --> 00:04:08,204 - Pickup. Max: Thanks. 70 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,376 - Isn't han a tool? - Total tool. 71 00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:15,720 Yeah, a tiny tool. Like the kind you fix your eyeglasses with. 72 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,398 See, that's my wheelhouse. 73 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:24,946 Look, I don't wanna ask someone to work for free. We can do it all ourselves. 74 00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:29,038 Wanna do it yourself? Great. I'll write everything to do on a to-do list. 75 00:04:29,246 --> 00:04:33,464 Why don't you "to-do" that, and I will to-tear it up? 76 00:04:33,672 --> 00:04:37,095 What are we tearing up? If it's that ass, I already got that covered. 77 00:04:37,305 --> 00:04:40,101 Hi, Andy. That's so sweet and dirty. 78 00:04:40,268 --> 00:04:43,609 Easy, easy. What are you, shipping off to war? 79 00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:47,492 Here, take this giant bag of skittles and look the other way. 80 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:51,917 I'm not that easy. Oh, new mystery flavors? 81 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,923 - Getting together after you get off? - It'll be late. 82 00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:56,760 Max and I have to go to the shop... 83 00:04:56,927 --> 00:04:59,265 and tape the windows so we can start the trim. 84 00:04:59,474 --> 00:05:04,651 Okay, I'm not very good at painting, but I can do this while you paint. Yeah. 85 00:05:04,818 --> 00:05:06,488 Yeah. Roll that paint on that wall. 86 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,701 Oh, oh. 87 00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:15,631 You are so freaking cute. 88 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,303 Ugh. White people. 89 00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:22,937 Why don't you guys just get an intern? That's what I did. 90 00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:28,532 You two are like evil warlords, mining the souls of innocent zombies. 91 00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:32,247 Keep eyes peeled at your store. The janitor told me he saw rat droppings. 92 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,711 But all you gotta do is set up some traps. 93 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:37,634 Ugh. Oh, gross. Who's going to do that? 94 00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:40,013 The intern? 95 00:05:42,769 --> 00:05:46,443 So Ruth, you're a sophomore at nyu, majoring in finance. 96 00:05:46,652 --> 00:05:49,240 You know you're not gonna get paid. No money at all. 97 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:53,624 Yep. It's an internship. I mean, it's all good, right? 98 00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:57,089 It's all good until you need money. 99 00:05:57,674 --> 00:06:01,347 Well, we're a start-up company. We're launching our very first retail store. 100 00:06:01,515 --> 00:06:04,186 There's a lot of details that you'll be responsible for. 101 00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:08,404 There's a lot of carrying things, maybe some trapping things. 102 00:06:09,196 --> 00:06:10,575 Oh, it's cool. I have a car. 103 00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:13,204 You have a car and you want to be an intern? 104 00:06:13,371 --> 00:06:16,252 How about if we switch places? I'll be the intern with the car. 105 00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:19,426 You can sit on a broken folding chair next to Donna trump here. 106 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,180 Max and I need to have a little meeting now. 107 00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:25,186 If you could go to the waiting room, that'd be great. Okay? 108 00:06:25,396 --> 00:06:31,198 I just want to say, I know my name is weird. But, like, it's too late, right? 109 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:35,123 Max, why are you trying to convince her to not be our intern? 110 00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:36,793 Why are you not saying: 111 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,426 "You may get rabies and bubonic plague from our rats"? 112 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:43,974 Caroline: Don't mention the rats. 113 00:06:44,183 --> 00:06:46,605 You're chasing them away. And we do not have rats. 114 00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:49,653 We have rat droppings. Let's not jump to conclusions. 115 00:06:49,861 --> 00:06:53,786 You're right, the rats are probably just coming in here to use the bathroom. 116 00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:57,794 Look, we need an intern. Now, who do you like so far? 117 00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:00,967 - The one with the big boobs. - I knew it. 118 00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:03,472 All you big-boobed people stick together. 119 00:07:04,474 --> 00:07:06,728 Hi, girls. 120 00:07:06,937 --> 00:07:12,030 Are you having a beauty contest and didn't invite me to give the other girls a chance? 121 00:07:12,573 --> 00:07:16,289 - We're interviewing people to be our intern. - Who doesn't get paid. 122 00:07:17,124 --> 00:07:19,211 Well, this is for you. 123 00:07:19,378 --> 00:07:22,593 You didn't have to do that. You already gave us money for the shop. 124 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,639 I know. I'm too wonderful. 125 00:07:24,806 --> 00:07:28,354 But it's for good luck. And sounds like you're gonna need it. 126 00:07:28,522 --> 00:07:31,695 Oleg says that it's rat central station around here. 127 00:07:32,446 --> 00:07:35,035 Not rats, Sophie. Just rat droppings. 128 00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:40,253 Oh, just rat droppings. Oh, okay, no problem there. Heh-heh. 129 00:07:43,469 --> 00:07:48,102 Are you out of breath because you jogged here all the way from 1974? 130 00:07:48,687 --> 00:07:53,071 Sexy, huh? You should see his badonkadonk when he jogs. 131 00:07:54,365 --> 00:07:56,828 Well, here they are, 60 rat traps! 132 00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:00,168 [Interns chattering] 133 00:08:00,335 --> 00:08:04,009 Girls, I don't want to interfere with your business... 134 00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:07,725 but what the hell is going on here? 135 00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:11,190 There's no fancy tables or pretty chairs. 136 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:15,950 I mean, this place is so unappealing, even I don't look good here. 137 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,801 No worries. We have some adorable old-school ice cream tables and chairs... 138 00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:27,849 on hold at a kooky, fun staten island junkyard. 139 00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:31,105 Wow. I can't believe you didn't shoot a blood clot... 140 00:08:31,272 --> 00:08:34,236 trying to make dump furniture sound cute. 141 00:08:34,988 --> 00:08:38,036 Okay, girls, well, call me when you have a real business. 142 00:08:38,202 --> 00:08:42,127 Yeah, and I'm gonna take this. You know, so that the rats don't poop in it. 143 00:08:42,294 --> 00:08:44,506 Come on, badonkadonk. All right. 144 00:08:46,052 --> 00:08:49,851 Oh, and, Max, oh, she's good, yeah. 145 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,819 I knew it. All you big-boobed people stick together. 146 00:08:58,744 --> 00:09:00,413 Well.... 147 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:05,006 Here we are. The final three. 148 00:09:09,808 --> 00:09:14,149 Well, you know the one I like. I'll give you a clue: One, two. 149 00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:18,992 Standing in front of me, i see two beautiful, qualified young women. 150 00:09:19,535 --> 00:09:21,706 Is she really going all top model right now? 151 00:09:21,915 --> 00:09:24,754 If only. They pay. 152 00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:27,300 I'm out, Tyra. 153 00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:32,269 Ruth, congratulations. You've been selected to be our intern. 154 00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:34,899 Max, will you get Ruth started on something? 155 00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:39,324 - Yeah, I got the internship. - Um.... 156 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,744 You know what? I got it. 157 00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,040 It's not like you're getting paid. 158 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:47,507 Big-boobed people are so much easier. 159 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,500 As a kid, people told you everything you did was amazing, didn't they? 160 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:06,880 I was given a lot of positive reinforcement. 161 00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:10,303 It gave me the confidence that's gotten me through this last year. 162 00:10:10,971 --> 00:10:14,228 Well, it's time you heard the truth. You stink at stuff. 163 00:10:14,771 --> 00:10:16,440 Like painting. 164 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,946 Fine. And you stink at stuff too. 165 00:10:19,112 --> 00:10:21,158 Like telling an intern what to do. 166 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:24,833 Ruth had to go to that concert. She had the tickets for weeks. 167 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,047 It was Ashley d. And Ashley b.'S joint birthday. Duh. 168 00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:30,928 And so the intern is out having fun... 169 00:10:31,095 --> 00:10:34,644 and here we are, the bosses, painting the walls at 3 A.M. 170 00:10:34,811 --> 00:10:35,980 Well, I'm painting. 171 00:10:36,147 --> 00:10:40,280 You got a kind of autistic ballerina thing going on over there. 172 00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:42,117 Can I ask you something? 173 00:10:42,284 --> 00:10:44,037 I don't like maroon 5. 174 00:10:44,204 --> 00:10:47,335 No matter how many times you ask, the answer will always be no. 175 00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:51,218 Not that. Would it be okay if I told Andy not to come over tonight... 176 00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:55,101 because I'm exhausted, or is it too early in the relationship to be all... 177 00:10:55,268 --> 00:10:58,274 i don't think I can have my legs up around my ears tonight? 178 00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:03,034 It's fine. You don't think he'd enjoy a night off from constant maroon 5 badgering? 179 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:04,661 He would. 180 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,419 Feels awkward. Can't. My legs can go up. They're fine. 181 00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:12,552 - I don't wanna have that conversation now. - Hey, look, I get it. 182 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,058 There are conversations you don't want to have... 183 00:11:15,225 --> 00:11:18,690 like, "hey, Ruth, here's zero dollars. Put down some rat traps." 184 00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,903 We have a box here that's not touched. 185 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:24,368 Look, we're not talking about your relationship anymore. We're done. 186 00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:28,459 And relax, it's probably not even a rat. It's probably a mouse. Not a big deal. 187 00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:30,798 [Rat squeaking] 188 00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:33,386 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I see it. There it is. 189 00:11:33,762 --> 00:11:35,766 - The mouse? - That is not a mouse. 190 00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,979 That is a car that a mouse drives. 191 00:11:38,145 --> 00:11:40,585 Oh, my god. Where did you see it? It was in the middle, right? 192 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,696 - Shh! - Why are you whispering? 193 00:11:42,905 --> 00:11:45,451 - I don't want him to hear me. - How do you know it's a he? 194 00:11:45,618 --> 00:11:48,374 He looked at me kind of rapey. 195 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,088 - There! It ran behind the thing. - What thing? 196 00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:54,052 - That thing. - This thing? Aah! 197 00:11:54,219 --> 00:11:56,390 - What? Did you see it? - I don't think so. 198 00:11:56,557 --> 00:11:59,146 - Oh, you'd know so. It has a saddle. - Oh! 199 00:12:01,818 --> 00:12:08,289 Oh, my god. He just opened the door with the strength of his whiskers. 200 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,714 He's gone. He went into the kitchen. 201 00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:14,969 What should we do? Should we call the cops? 202 00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:17,474 He doesn't have a gun. 203 00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:20,981 Let's just get out of here. We'll call an exterminator in the morning. 204 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:24,071 Oh! Too late. He's coming back. 205 00:12:24,279 --> 00:12:26,450 - Aah! He's charging us. - He's gonna bite me. 206 00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:28,579 [Caroline grunting] 207 00:12:32,295 --> 00:12:34,216 [Grunting] 208 00:12:36,763 --> 00:12:40,980 You can stop now. You painted him to death. 209 00:12:46,908 --> 00:12:50,331 I just got a glimpse of you at a barneys sample sale. 210 00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:53,754 What a mess. Who's gonna clean that up? 211 00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:56,260 The intern? 212 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,938 Caroline: Oh, Andy. 213 00:13:02,105 --> 00:13:04,026 Andy: I know. I'm good at this. 214 00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,361 [Caroline gasps] 215 00:13:05,528 --> 00:13:07,240 [Caroline screaming] 216 00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,369 Max: What? What? Is it another rat? 217 00:13:09,996 --> 00:13:11,916 Max, what are you doing? 218 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,004 I forgot Andy was here. 219 00:13:14,171 --> 00:13:17,970 And your sex voice is the same as your murder voice. 220 00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:21,185 So are you just gonna stand there? 221 00:13:21,518 --> 00:13:24,650 Are you offering me a three-way? 222 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,240 [Intercom buzzes] 223 00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:32,123 Well, looks like we're about to be a full-blown orgy. 224 00:13:32,791 --> 00:13:35,797 - It's 2 A.M. who could this be? - It's Ruth. 225 00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,680 - Ruth? Ruth: Yes. I'm late, right? 226 00:13:39,847 --> 00:13:41,016 Why is she here? 227 00:13:41,183 --> 00:13:43,771 I texted her and said you needed an enema. 228 00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:47,112 Okay, now, this is some industrial-strength girl talk. 229 00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:49,533 I had to do something to show her who was boss. 230 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,495 I learned it interning at condé nast. 231 00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:54,919 We've all gotten someone an enema in the night. It's a rite of passage. 232 00:13:55,086 --> 00:13:57,632 For someone to get their passage right? 233 00:13:58,676 --> 00:14:00,096 Beat me to it. 234 00:14:00,263 --> 00:14:01,640 [Knock on door] 235 00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:04,271 There, go open the door. You know what has to happen. 236 00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:09,281 Max has to put Ruth in her place so she can learn how to be a boss. 237 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:10,491 Oh, that's all? 238 00:14:10,658 --> 00:14:14,291 Good. I thought from your tone, you were gonna force Max to have an enema. 239 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:20,136 Sorry I'm late. I had the tiniest pot cookie and had to pull over to take a nap. 240 00:14:22,015 --> 00:14:24,686 Anyway, here is your enema. Enjoy. 241 00:14:24,896 --> 00:14:26,440 They only had the triple pack. 242 00:14:26,607 --> 00:14:29,738 Wait, Ruth. Max has something she wants to say to you. 243 00:14:29,906 --> 00:14:35,333 - Max, what did you want to say to Ruth? - Um, thanks for the triple? 244 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,089 Three times the fun. 245 00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:45,520 Sure you don't want me to help you? 246 00:14:45,686 --> 00:14:49,069 Oh, no, it's okay. You took the rat traps out of the box. You need a break. 247 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,908 We couldn't afford the game mouse trap when I was a kid. 248 00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:54,121 This is the closest I'm gonna get. 249 00:14:54,621 --> 00:14:56,333 So when do you make the cupcakes? 250 00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:58,254 Um.... 251 00:14:58,421 --> 00:15:01,844 - I guess I could make them now. - Fun. I'll go get the coffees, right? 252 00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:05,893 Sure. Of course. Do whatever. You got a life. Who am I to tell you what to do? 253 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:10,236 Well, here's our Martha Stewart blurb all blown up... 254 00:15:10,403 --> 00:15:12,950 and ready to roll out and paste up on that wall. 255 00:15:13,117 --> 00:15:14,202 Where's Ruth? 256 00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:16,290 - In the kitchen. - I was just in there. 257 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,169 Then she's in the bathroom. 258 00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,258 Oh, my god. You're han-ing me. 259 00:15:21,425 --> 00:15:23,554 She took a coffee break. 260 00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:26,810 What? She didn't need a break. She just started 20 minutes ago. 261 00:15:26,978 --> 00:15:30,986 Heh. Your rich is really coming out and it is not pretty. 262 00:15:31,153 --> 00:15:35,286 Forgot my phone. I mean, get it together, Ruth, right? 263 00:15:35,787 --> 00:15:36,914 Watch and learn. 264 00:15:37,081 --> 00:15:39,795 Ruth, can you put the rat traps down? One in each corner. 265 00:15:39,962 --> 00:15:42,509 And then you can get coffee later. After interning. 266 00:15:42,717 --> 00:15:43,970 Thanks. 267 00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:46,850 She's kind of a tool, right? 268 00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:52,529 - Max, were you saying something? - Nope. 269 00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:53,823 [Trap snaps] 270 00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:56,036 Ouch, right? 271 00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:07,809 Oh, look at this cage. I think my mom used to dance in it. 272 00:16:09,563 --> 00:16:14,156 Here they are. These are the ones I had the guy hold for us. Only $600 for all of them. 273 00:16:14,322 --> 00:16:18,122 - What do you think, daddy? - I like them, doll. Wrap them up. 274 00:16:19,082 --> 00:16:21,128 And can daddy get something he wants? 275 00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,507 So cute. Over the counter. 276 00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:25,803 That way, when I'm hung over and taking a nap... 277 00:16:25,970 --> 00:16:28,184 people can still find the cupcakes. 278 00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:31,481 We can have Ruth clean it. Then paint and reupholster these. 279 00:16:31,648 --> 00:16:34,821 By the way, where is she? She was supposed to be here an hour ago. 280 00:16:34,988 --> 00:16:38,579 - Text and find out where she is. - Why are you so interested in where she is... 281 00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:40,875 what she's doing? Are you obsessed with her? 282 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:45,343 I don't wanna make a purse out of her skin. I just want her to do her job. 283 00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:47,639 Never mind. I'll just text her. 284 00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:51,271 Well, be careful. Don't delete any of my penis-with-a-hat pictures. 285 00:16:51,438 --> 00:16:55,196 Even if I did, it's not a big deal. Oleg will always pose again. 286 00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:58,869 Yeah, but I'll never get that little pilgrim hat back. 287 00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:02,335 "Where are you? We needed you here yesterday." 288 00:17:02,502 --> 00:17:04,673 All in caps. Because bosses talk in caps. 289 00:17:05,174 --> 00:17:06,885 [Coughing] Total tool. 290 00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:08,430 [Cell phone chimes] 291 00:17:08,597 --> 00:17:11,770 Look at that, texted right back because I'm the boss. 292 00:17:11,937 --> 00:17:14,734 She says, "yesterday was super hard"... 293 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,075 so she's not feeling great and she can't come in today. Heh. 294 00:17:18,242 --> 00:17:21,206 That's it. She's fired. Here, you have to fire her. 295 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,629 She said she was sick, condé nasty. 296 00:17:25,214 --> 00:17:27,385 She's not sick. She's just taking advantage... 297 00:17:27,552 --> 00:17:30,391 because you're too friendly with her. She works for us. 298 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,395 Yeah, for free. 299 00:17:32,562 --> 00:17:36,486 Why don't you just hollow her out and live inside of her, you monster? 300 00:17:36,653 --> 00:17:38,657 [Cell phone chimes] 301 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,123 Um, I don't think we were supposed to get this. 302 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:46,798 "The dumb one wants me to pick up all this crappy furniture, right? 303 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:51,015 As if. I'll be at the bar in 10. Order me a bellini." 304 00:17:51,183 --> 00:17:54,564 Oh, who's the monster now? She just called you the dumb one. 305 00:17:54,731 --> 00:17:57,236 Uh, she called you the dumb one. 306 00:17:57,445 --> 00:17:59,616 It's your phone. You're the dumb one. 307 00:17:59,824 --> 00:18:01,536 She knows I don't talk in caps. 308 00:18:01,745 --> 00:18:04,125 - So that's to you, you're the dumb one. - Fire her. 309 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,836 - No, you fire her. - You fire her. 310 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,632 No. You hired her. You fire her. 311 00:18:07,799 --> 00:18:09,552 I wanted to go with Molly big boobs. 312 00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:13,185 She'd be here right now, with four chairs on each boob. 313 00:18:13,394 --> 00:18:16,483 Why can't you fire her? It's clear she called you the dumb one. 314 00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:20,241 All right, fine. I know she called me the dumb one. But I can't fire her. 315 00:18:20,408 --> 00:18:23,205 I want to, but there's a block. Right here. 316 00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:26,712 It comes up, and then goes, "nope." It goes right back down. 317 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,551 I am not supposed to fire someone. 318 00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:32,724 I'm the someone who's supposed to be fired. 319 00:18:33,392 --> 00:18:34,811 So I guess I'm the boss then. 320 00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:37,275 Sounds like a plan. I'll be in my mom's cage. 321 00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:43,704 All right, come on, you lowly worker, help the boss pull these chairs out. 322 00:18:43,871 --> 00:18:46,251 Don't yell at me, boss. I'm blocked. 323 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,380 Wish you had your enemas now, don't you? 324 00:18:50,134 --> 00:18:51,136 [Squeaking] 325 00:18:51,303 --> 00:18:53,515 [Both screaming] 326 00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:55,895 Max: They followed us. We walked into a trap! 327 00:18:56,062 --> 00:18:58,442 - It's a vendetta! - Oh, I can't believe this! 328 00:18:58,609 --> 00:19:01,782 Our intern is out having cocktails, and I'm trapped on top of rat mountain. 329 00:19:01,948 --> 00:19:04,119 Aah! He's coming after me! 330 00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:05,790 [Shrieks] 331 00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:10,758 - Oh, my god. - Max, help. 332 00:19:10,925 --> 00:19:13,180 No, you bastards. Get off her. 333 00:19:13,597 --> 00:19:15,810 [Both scream] 334 00:19:15,976 --> 00:19:18,857 - Get off. - My foot is caught under this thing. 335 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:21,112 [Max grunts] 336 00:19:22,114 --> 00:19:24,244 [Both scream] 337 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:31,591 Max, that was amazing. You just lifted that giant thing up with one hand. 338 00:19:31,758 --> 00:19:36,058 I know. And now I'm gonna fire that bitch. 339 00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:44,409 Wow. You suck at this too. 340 00:19:44,576 --> 00:19:49,961 Sorry I'm late. I was having a dream that i was sleeping in, then I woke up and I was. 341 00:19:54,596 --> 00:19:55,848 Who's the boss? 342 00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:57,435 Tony danza. 343 00:19:57,602 --> 00:19:59,981 No, Max, who's the boss? 344 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,236 I am. 345 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,493 - Have a seat, Ruth. - Here? 346 00:20:05,701 --> 00:20:07,455 Good call. 347 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:12,047 In addition to being a boss, i am also a waitress. 348 00:20:12,215 --> 00:20:14,761 But when I do my job, i don't call people dumb. 349 00:20:14,928 --> 00:20:17,099 All right, I do. At least it's to their face. 350 00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:20,564 Oh, you're talking about that thing? I meant Caroline. 351 00:20:20,773 --> 00:20:24,572 No, I know you meant me, because I'm not dumb, and neither is Caroline. 352 00:20:24,739 --> 00:20:26,910 One thing I figured out is that in business... 353 00:20:27,077 --> 00:20:31,586 maybe I have to be a little more ruthless, meaning no more Ruth. You're fired. 354 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:35,678 So I'm not getting college credit? 355 00:20:35,845 --> 00:20:39,894 I'll probably get kicked out of school again, but no worries, right? 356 00:20:44,988 --> 00:20:47,535 I'm really proud of how you stuck up for yourself. 357 00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:51,208 You're fired. Sorry, I can't stop. 358 00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:56,720 Look, Max, we're on our way.